As I pack my Bags for the Junk Bonana-or how to understand a Texan

Must be read in your best Texas thinking voice. Written in as good a Texan as can be put into words.

As I'm packin my Bags for tha Junk Bonanza, I always look forward to headin north to Minnesota. I have alotta friends up there as well as some family and I try da see everyone. One of the "cultural" diff-ern-ces I find, that really lets me know I'm somewher else, is tha accent. If you've never been to Minnesota you can hear their fabulous accent which is similar to the movie Fargo, which you can listen to here


So you can imagine how my East Texas accent makes me stand out a lil bit. I'll never forget the time I went through a drive thru and said "Do Ya'll have Doctor Pepper?" I'm pretty sure I lost her at "Ya'll" and the rest just sounded like garbage to her. I finally slowed it down and pronounced all my consonants and rounded out my o's and she fine-ly understood. ..The answer was "no". Now What's up with that. Don't they know how good Dr Pepper is up there???

For a sample, kinda, of maybe not what I sound like, but what I hear on a daily basis, enjoy this scene from Bernie.


So that's where I live, behind the Pine curtain. I thought I'd take a moment to hep Ya'll understand a little Texan to hep you out if we meet up. So here goes.

First off, Every soft drink is "coke" not pop, not soda, "coke". This can cause some confusion, but we get by.

Ya'll is a contraction for "you all" and pretty much a staple of a true Texan, but it never comes at the end of a sentence, at least not around here. We never use it like Paula Dean ie "stir in some butter Ya'll". It would be more appropriate ie "Now ya'll need to stir in some butter" But only if there were more than one cook, because it's plural ya see, never singular.

Fixinto means "I'm getting ready to or I'm going to" as in "I'm fixinto go to the store do ya'll want some cokes?"

Here are a few other things you might hear come outta my mouth, some from this web site, some I added.

Catty Whompus - Used to Describe Something That Doesn't Fit Properly or Is out of Line.
Come Hell or High Water - Determination to Proceed, Regardless of the Problems or Obstacles.
Conniptions - To Have Conniptions Is to Get Upset and Raise a Ruckus.
Fit to Be Tied - Really Upset.
Gully-washer - An Extraordinary Amount of Rain.
Over Yonder - A Directional Phrase Meaning "Over There."
Whole Nuther Thing - Something Else Entirely
Road hard and put up wet-from horse riding, means "tired"
If it'd been a snake it wouldda bit ya-it's right in front of your (or my) face and didn't see it.

One more thing to note is that we lost our "g's" somewhere along the line and if they come at the end of a word like going, or doing then we just don't say em, as in goin, doin etc.

I won't be upset if you ask me to repeat myself so feel free. I'm used to it when I travel. And my accent isn't even that bad. When I go to the flea market or deal with some of my picker friends, Woo hoo Katie Bare the Door. It really is like a whole nother country.