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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

In Honor of the Texas Heat



Yes I said "Honor". You can loathe it or honor it. After all, the grass, trees, produce, and flowers, love it, as long at we can keep enough water on them. Texans cuss the heat like Northerners cuss the cold. We know it will be hot, yet we act shocked and surprised that in August at 2:00 that it is so d*mn hot. Duh!it's been this hot every August since I can remember. And a few Summer's it's been so much hotter, Anyone remember 1980? There were actually t-shirts that said "I survived the Summer of 1980"
I think that is the summer I had a car without air conditioning. But I was young and it didn't matter, I HAD A CAR!!!!
So in Honor of the Texas Summer Heat, and to help those not familiar with it, to understand it a bit, I offer this little ditty for your amusement. I've added to it, and my comments are in ().

"You Know You're In Texas When..."
* You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
* You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
* You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* You consider the first cool snap to be anything below 70 degrees.(and grab your new jacket that you bought in July, just hoping it would eventually cool off)
* You can make instant sun tea.
* You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly. (grabbing that new jacket again)
* You discover that in, July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
* You can bake cookies on your vehicle’s dashboard.
* You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
* You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps. (yep, so true)
* It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. (so true)
* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work. (happened to me last week)
* No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
* Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
* You have a wonderful covered porch that you can't even use.
* The moment you walk out of any restaurant, mall or store you are hit with this Poof of Heat that almost knocks you over.
* You wouldn't dare walk outside without shoes on.
* You don't understand why stores even try to sell anything that is not 100% cotton.
* McDonalds runs out of Large Cups (this just happened to me today)
* You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. (it has an interesting smell too)

Now if you are in a climate that is 85 or below on a "Hot" day. Please go outside and enjoy a glass of lemonade for me. But I'll be drinking mine inside today.
Take care,
Margo

11 comments:

Vicki T said...

The same can be said for Alabama!! Stay cool!

Vicki

Sand Flat Farm said...

Been drivin around with one finger for awhile now! How 'bout limeade?

cindee said...

Its hot here to but we never get any rain in the summer. Where in Texas do you live?

smith kaich jones said...

Did my comment disappear? Too hot to retype it!

Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

I lived in Austin,TX 10 years ago. When we flew in for an apartment hunting weekend and got to our hotel at 12:30am it was still registering 105 degrees!!! I feel your (hot) pain! :)
You should add to your list that in TX, outside you break in a full sweat in 2 seconds outside, but still have to carry a sweater in summer cause stores blast air conditioning so cold you get goose bumps!

TinaTx said...

hmdburCan you see my head bobbing in agreement? Can we have a margarita instead of lemonade?
I do remember the summer of '80. The difference is that I was 28 years younger then and I could take it better! We even went to Six Flags in August that summer - the first day it didn't break 100 in however long that streak was - without thinking twice about how hot it was going to be.

Wendy said...

Those work for Florida too!! Especially the driving with two fingers! My car feels like an industrial oven when I get in it in the afternoon.

mightycat3 said...

Oh how I can relate Margo!
Also..."if you get in a car with leather seats & you are wearing shorts,you do a funny little pelvic thrust forward in the air with your butt cause you just sizzled the back of your thighs!"
And I DO remember the summer of 1980. My Grandpa died from a heat stroke that summer.
Am patiently waiting for fall....


Carol

Linda B said...

Texas sounds even hotter than South Florida! We get to enjoy 90% humidity with the temps. Sometimes it feels like you are molding and melting. That lemonade looks like just the ticket!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Just had an email from a friend in Texas who is not "honoring" it. I'm sending her this way.

Cynthia Holt Ziemian said...

You said it girl! Living in Euless, TX for 10 years, you have reminded me of many Texas summers...oh, and you forgot to "fry the egg on the sidewalk"...yep, done it!!! ha

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